Sleepy rambles

It’s 1 am and once again I’m awake..So, here I sit blogging to relax my mind.

My referral came for my shrink yesterday, but they can not see me until next month..bummer. this will mean I will most likely have a hospital stay..because the meds will have ran out and the strength is extremely low. OK, I will not fear this stay. I will welcome it and move on.

Also I will have to take Colin along with me to the shrink, my parents have prior commitments..that worries me, but there is nothing I can do..I must tote him beside me to one of the most important appointmentstuff of my life. I really hope this is a good shrink and not a waste of my time. I have a short fuse when it comes to me the way I need or I will find work for me, not the other way around. I just wish my therapist was a shrink..he understands me and my medical needs..I have anxiety thinking about that appointment and the fear of another hospital stay.

I have a lot going on this month and need the meds in order to complete these tasks.. I’m going to a wedding shower, and doing the brides hair..I’m reluctant because this is for the man that caused me to get arrested.. ohhh how much I hate him, but his fiancee is a doll..what she sees in him I will never understand. His mom will be there. The last I saw of her I cussed her out!! She blamed me and my partner..when in fact it was her jobless son to have caused the mess. Yes, my anxiety is high right now.

It’s Friday which means nothing in my world, but I hope it’s a peaceful day. I want to enjoy this weekend before I spin out of control in anxiety..I can feel it coming, but I will just ride that wave until it sends me to the hospital.. just relax and enjoy the calm before storm.


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