Tuesday blahs

I woke up late this morning around 4am..Colin was already awake by this time..ahhhh, bummer. I left him in his Crib and showered..I pulled myself together for the day..went down stairs.. the cable TV is all messed up..great!! No mickey mouse means no distraction for Colin, so I can do my hair and makeup. But I pulled it off..yay..morning points for me.

I’m tired and just want to be lazy today, but I have therapy. And this means a full hour without Colin.. a small needed break. Yes, it takes therapy to get a break. That’s just sad. My days are always full of taking care of the baby and his dad’s  needs. What about my needs.. no one seems to care about that. Everyone seems to think a child stuck to your hip is the easiest life in the world..like working is so damn hard.let me tell you..I’ve worked from 15 until 31 straight full time.and put my ass through school. no breaks for my teen years..work is much easier than raising children..bless those mother’s that love raising their babies..I’m sure they are keeping zoloft alive and running. I’m just more of a worker..that’s all I’ve ever known.

As much as I love raising Colin, I’m starting to hate that whiny little voice..it sends me into extreme crazy mommy mode..is it 8 yet so we can leave and dump his as at is grandparents. I think I need a vacation..one by myself.

So today is therapy day and I’m so tired I feel like I can’t drag my butt there..but I always feel better when I go..so, that’s all the energy I have to blog about today..unless you want to hear me complain about the mess my house is or the cheerios all over the floor..I don’t plan on picking up and his dad will come home and complain how I don’t do anything..yeah, ok..I won’t do your laundry, care for your child cook your meals, bathe your child and clean our home and everything else I do..and then you will see just how much I don’t do..I think he just says shit like that to get me going or to feel like he’s contributing so much..he does neither!! He’s like Hitler.. he’s a dictator and we are all at his command..some days I just want to drive away with only my purse..but then I would miss my little communism house..they really aren’t that bad.. only in my head at times. I’m sure many can relate.

Happy therapy Tuesday..here’s to a break so I can go cry on a man’s couch about my messed up anxiety mind

 

 

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