Morning hell

This morning I slept past my usual 3am..and woke when Colin did. This is irritating..I need my time in the morning to blog, drink coffee, and let the meds kick in. My son is so energetic which is irritating at 5 in the morning.. well, today I’m extra cranky and have that anxiety buzzy feeling inside my nerves.

I get him out of bed, of course he’s already destroying our home..ahhh..stop being a 2 year old, just be good for me today.. I go down stairs, use the restroom..go to turn on the heater..bammmmm I hit my toe on a tile stair.. I want to punch a wall!! I’m bleeding everywhere. Whhhhyyyyy

I get Colin into the fenced-in area of the living room.grab a bandaid. It’s going to be one of those.. get me out of my life kinda days. Why can’t I have any help in this life. When my oldest sister had her 3 children they lived at my parents house. They would be there on a daily basis. I want to drop Colin off and run away. They help me on Tuesdays so I can visit the therapist.. I try not to burden them with watching him too much..he is unlike any 2 year old you’ve ever met.. he’s the Tasmanian devil

So I’m tIred and cranky and hoping it won’t be a xanex day.. I do not want to use those in the early hours of my day.. they are for high attacks and nights..but I can already see I’m set up to flip the f out!! Where the hell is my coffee.

And why the hell does this child have to sit right on my face, he wants my iPad and the TV onto damn mickey mouse.. I have a love hate relationship with mickey mouse..this morning it’s mostly hate…I really just need help!!

I really had some important things I wanted to blog about, but it will wait until my meds and behavior of my child are in sync.

Hope your morning is off to a better start than mine.. almost to Friday.. thank you Jesus

 

 

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