In my therapy session yesterday, my therapist challenged me to make a list of likes about myself. What I like about my old self and ones I like about my new self.. he explained that my old self is still living within me.. as much as I don’t believe that.. I can still feel the old me, lives deep within me..even if it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her…OK here goes my list
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT OLD ME
* I was a go getter..anything I wanted I would find a way to do it.
* I cared deeply about other people.. I made their problems my own and I would help them.. today I can hardly help myself
* I had a million friends..always having a fun time.. I’ve cut most of them out of my life..I just want to be alone now. But that is changing.
* self confidence was through the roof. I was beautiful, in shape and smart.. age, baby and tiredness changed those things.. not so confident anymore.
* I had dreams, I would chase those dreams..nothing could stand in my way. Now, I just don’t dream as much.
* I loved life, people, going out and working..now I find it hard to do any of those.
OK, so the list could obviously go on forever.. I was obsessed with myself.. and clearly not so much these days, but I’ll do my best to make my next list.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF TODAY
* I care enough to help myself heal..and to put my life on blast to help others.
* I’m a good mother..even though at times I feel like I’m failing.
* I’m creative.. OK, so I think I’m creative.. my projects never turn out, but atleast I try.
* I’m organized.. I’ve always been kinda ocd about cleaning and everything needs to have a place. And for goodness sake put it back where you found it! This causes many fights in our home..I’m not a maid.
* I think I’m funny.. yes, I think I’m very funny, and that’s all that counts.
Ok, that wasn’t too hard..both list could have more added, but the point here..I guess is that I’m still the same girl.. I’ve just been a bit dormant inside.
I want to thank everyone that have started to follow my blog, liked it, emailed or messaged me. This process has not been easy, but well worth it. I start to feel better, then I take a step back.. this happens a lot. But atleast progress is being made.
I have one more blog post I hope to get up today, but Colin is hungry.. guess I should feed my son. Don’t you wish we as mother’s had a machine to clock into..when we start work of motherhood..guess we could never fully clock out at the end of the day. Sometimes I wonder if going back to a job away from home would be better.. then I think hell no.. I love raising my son.. I do not want anyone else to have my job. I work from home.. doing hair when clients call.. I like it this way..for now.